It’s every child’s dream to have their own iPhone or Android. The games. The chat apps. An instant connection to a whole new world of online excitement.
Whether you think 11 years, 12 years, or 13 years old is the right age, you need to face the facts. They’re going to have their own phone sooner or later, and there’s not much you can do once the floodgates are open.
Adult content. Violent videos. Chat apps that connect them to strangers. Dangerous apps. It’s scary stuff.
That begs the question — should parents monitor their children’s phone? Today, we’ll discuss why we think parents should. Plus, we’ll fill you in on the best solutions to help parents checking child’s phone without them knowing.
Table Of Contents
Reasons why Parents Should Check Their Child’s Phone
1. Cyberbullying
Should parents go through their child’s phone to make sure they’re safe? Considering the rate of cyberbullying, we say yes. According to some statistics, 22% of kids on social media are likely to be victims of cyberbullying.
The number grows based on the number of social media channels they use, with YouTube, Snapchat, TikTok, and Facebook being the most popular cyberbullying playgrounds.
2. Sexting
Got a teenager? Then you need to be worried about the pics they’re sending and receiving. Gone are the days where the most controversial pic in their camera roll is a photo of a kitten on a piano. Today, nudity is a very real possibility and it’s one of the biggest reasons why parents go through their child’s phone.
3. Predators
Why should parents check their child’s phone? One word: Predators. There are billions of people in this world. And while there are a lot of good people, the world is filled with weirdos who want to connect with kids, chat inappropriately, and maybe even do them harm.
4. Bad decisions
Are they visiting websites and using apps that they shouldn’t? Are they getting involved with the wrong crowd who are intent on steering them in the wrong direction? Kids are impressionable, so an app for parents checking child’s phone is a great way to keep them on track.
5. Screentime Management
Not worried about the bad stuff? It’s still a good idea to make sure they’re using their phone responsibly. An app to help parents checking phone activity can help you ensure they’re not spending too much free time on their device or using apps that you don’t approve of.
The Best Ways for Monitoring Your Child’s Phone
#1: Eyezy
If you want to see everything that’s happening on their phone, get Eyezy. The monitoring app includes so many tools to help you see what’s really going on in their world. And it’s powerful stuff. Take Social Spotlight, for example.
The Eyezy tool lets you read their private conversations in chat apps like WhatsApp, Messenger, Snapchat, Instagram, and others. Even Tinder.
With Magic Alerts, you’ll get notified if they type a controversial word or phrase, and you’ll find out when they arrive at or leave any location you choose. You can even see snapshots of their phone as they use it, view the websites they’ve visited, and more.
Best of all, Eyezy’s Invisible Shield feature means you can monitor them, and they’ll never know about it.
#2: Use Built-In Parental Controls
Most smartphones have built-in parental control features that allow parents to monitor and limit their child’s activity. On iPhones, Screen Time lets parents set app limits, block content, and track usage. Android devices have Google Family Link, which provides similar functions, including app activity reports and location tracking.
These tools are ideal for setting boundaries without directly invading privacy. They enable parents to ensure their child is using their phone safely while still allowing independence. Setting these controls early on helps create healthy digital habits and prevents children from accessing harmful or inappropriate content.
#3: The Old-fashioned Way
It’s your roof that they’re living under, so they should obey your rules. Before you give them a phone, consider drawing up a contract that allows you to take their phone whenever you want and scroll through it. If they disagree and refuse to hand over their phone, they lose it.
This method will likely keep them out of trouble — or force them to find a burner phone to use for the controversial stuff. Remember, if they know you’re monitoring them, they might be less likely to be their true self.
#4: Set Up Google Family Link or Apple Family Sharing
Google Family Link (for Android) and Apple Family Sharing (for iOS) give parents more control over their child’s phone usage. These tools allow parents to monitor screen time, approve app downloads, and even track location.
Google Family Link provides detailed reports on which apps are used and for how long, while Apple Family Sharing lets parents manage purchases and device restrictions. These apps are especially useful for younger children who need guidance on responsible phone use.
By using these features, parents can strike a balance between monitoring their child’s digital activity and encouraging responsible technology use.
#5: Review Social Media and Messaging Apps
Many children spend most of their online time on social media and messaging platforms like Instagram, Snapchat, and WhatsApp. Parents can check these apps manually or use parental control tools to monitor activity. Some platforms, like Instagram, allow parents to set up Supervision Tools to manage settings and view who their child follows.
Parents can also encourage their child to share their social media habits openly. Rather than spying, having conversations about online safety and teaching children about privacy risks can make them more willing to disclose their activities voluntarily, reducing the need for constant surveillance.
Reasons Why Parents Should Not Check Their Child’s Phone
While parents often monitor their child’s phone for safety, excessive checking can backfire. Here are key reasons why parents should reconsider constant phone surveillance:
1. It Breaches Trust
Constantly checking a child’s phone can make them feel like they are not trusted. Trust is essential in any relationship, and when children feel their privacy is constantly invaded, they may become more secretive. Instead of fostering open communication, excessive monitoring can lead to resentment and dishonesty.
2. It Violates Privacy Rights
Children, like adults, have a right to personal space. Reading their messages, checking social media, or tracking their activity without consent can feel like a violation of personal boundaries. Teaching children how to navigate the digital world safely is more beneficial than invading their privacy.
3. It Can Damage Parent-Child Relationships
When children know their parents regularly check their phones, they may withdraw emotionally. They might feel like they can’t confide in their parents about personal struggles, fearing judgment or punishment. Over time, this can weaken the parent-child bond, making meaningful conversations more difficult.
4. It Doesn’t Teach Digital Responsibility
Rather than monitoring every action, parents should teach critical thinking and responsible online behavior. If children know their parents will always check their phones, they may rely on them for safety rather than learning to make smart decisions themselves.
5. Kids Will Find Ways to Hide Things
If a child feels their phone is constantly being monitored, they may create secret accounts, use encrypted apps, or delete conversations to keep their privacy intact. Instead of preventing risky behavior, strict monitoring often encourages children to become more secretive and use technology in hidden ways.
6. It Can Create Anxiety and Resentment
Knowing that their every message or social media interaction might be scrutinized can cause unnecessary anxiety in children. They may feel pressured to behave a certain way online, which can impact their self-expression and confidence. Over time, this resentment can make them emotionally distant from their parents.
7. Open Communication is More Effective
Instead of sneaky phone checks, talking openly about online safety, digital risks, and boundaries is far more effective. If children feel comfortable discussing their concerns and experiences, they are more likely to share issues voluntarily, reducing the need for constant monitoring.
What the Law Says About Monitoring a Child’s Phone
Is it illegal to go through your child’s phone? That depends on their age and your relationship. If they’re under 18 and you’re their legal guardian, you have every right to monitor their phone without telling them (this is the case in most jurisdictions but be sure to check your local laws before proceeding).
Can my Parents Check my Phone at 18 ?
At 18 years old, you are legally an adult in most countries, meaning your parents do not have the automatic right to check your phone without your consent. However, some factors may influence this:
When Parents May Still Have a Say
- Living Under Their Roof: If you live with your parents, they might set house rules that include checking your phone, especially if they pay for it.
- Using Their Phone Plan: If they cover the cost of your phone or service, they may feel entitled to monitor it.
- Cultural and Family Expectations: Some families have stricter rules regarding privacy, regardless of age.
Your Right to Privacy
Legally, at 18, you have full control over your personal data, social media, and communications. If you feel uncomfortable with their monitoring, you can set healthy boundaries by explaining your need for privacy while reassuring them of your responsibility.
Our Top Pick for Checking Child’s Phone
Overall, we recommend Eyezy. It shows parents what their kids are really doing. And because it works in hidden mode, kids are free to be themselves.
When kids and teens don’t think other people are watching their every move, they’re less likely to hide their behavior. While that may lead to some poor decisions, at least you’ll know about what’s really happening.
If you want to see Eyezy in action, there’s a free demo to play with. We think you’ll find it’s even more powerful than we’ve described.
